The Failure of Falling
by Nobody-Knows76
Summary: Ishikawa Mahoko was so sure, that on that day, The Almighty Staircase and Railing God hated her and made her head-butt Takashi Morinozuka. Sure that was four years ago, but the guy's sitting beside her now. Especially in English Class: "...that pen is mine." "….oh god I heard wrongly." Cue to self bitch-slap. (Mori/OC)
1. Chapter 1

The Failure of Falling.

Chapter 1: A Petrafying Experience. (Shingeki fans-don't kill me lol.)

Chapter Inspiration: Falling down the stairs right after watching Ouran.-not kidding. QAQQQ.

AN: **Hello fellow Ouranians! Yeah I made up that word, kinda fits. I think. This is my first Ouran High School host Club fanfiction, so…..PLEASE TAKE CARE OF ME. I'm trying to write and learn better English-so flames are most welcome. Just don't flame me too much until I combust. If there's anything wrong or doesn't fit the timeline, tell me and I'll change it. :3 One question- Does both the Junior and Middle Schools require three years just to graduate and go to the High School Section? When do they start classes for a whole new year? T.T Just started the anime a year ago-and the manga has MAJOR differences compared to the animation. I'll be writing a fusion of the two-so, so expect some random things that would pop up every update. **

Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club belongs to Bisco Hatori, who I can't even find on Google except of the cartoon she drew of herself. Anybody knows where she stays? (Kidding.) Ishikawa Mahoko belongs to me, along with other characters that haven't been mentioned in the series. (Phew.)

Summary: Ishikawa Mahoko was so sure, that on that day, The Almighty Staircase and Railing God did not favor her and let her head-butt Takashi Morinozuka. Sure that was four years ago, but the guy's sitting beside her now. Especially in English Class: "...that pen is mine." "….oh god I heard wrongly." Cue to self bitch-slap. (Mori/OC)

13/2/13

Essay One: The ! #$%^&* Staircase.-* Sorry, Kurokawa-sensei. As I quote, you have free will in writing. So this is how we will bond with each other than you giving me the "Are you listening to me girl?" looks in class. And the answer is "Yes.", I do. You can even ask Umehito-kun for evidence. He's the one sitting in the corner near me. Blond hair. . *

Ishikawa Mahoko, 3A.

Um. Good morning, sensei-good night if you're still marking those heaps of paper besides you. Guess you need an introduction to essays, right? I pretty much don't even know how to start this essay. (Swear I didn't do this the last minute.)

My name is Ishikawa Mahoko, formerly in Class 2C last year. I sit in the last row and the second to the left, between Nekozawa Umehito-kun and Morinozuka Takashi. I like reading books with good plots and drawing. My drawing is still chicken scratch though. My father was born in the United States-and English is my second language. My dear mum's a Japanese. Both my father and mother are involved in protection services that travel nearly worldwide and both have a success rate of 98.75%.

I copied that from IPS' ( Ishikawa Protection Service) on Rikipedia.* Feel free if you want to know (stalk) more about them, but I'm guessing you're probably not. It's complexity is downright confusing and it wastes time.

"My Most Memorable Time In Ouran"-I changed schools from another school (ahaha I'm rhyming)when I was still in the Middle School Section in another district, so I don't have much experience to answer this one.

Still- here's what happened to me in my 3rd Year, July 17th, 2009. On a fine early mourning. Yes. MOURNING-I did my spelling checks and everything sensei. My sleep was disrupted by my brother (tripped himself from the 2nd floor staircase to the 1st floor base. I laughed at him while he was groaning for hours in the car. And what do you know- karma's a ! #$%. On period. But let's get onto the story.)

Woke up, brushed my teeth, took a bath, took the car with my dear old brother, and separated. He was a 3rd Year High Schooler-and part of the basketball team. He has this brown hair and black eyes- ah. I am never good with facial description-but let's do photoshop. Take Kuroko no Basket's Kise Ryota (Sensei if you actually do watch this, I'll salute you.) plus those descriptions I just told you, you'll get my brother. We separated, I got into class, and did notes. Normal thing to do for an Ouran student.

Then recess came.

I got out with a couple of my best friends-Daisuke, Ayura and Yagura. Daisuke Taro was in the same class as I was that year, and the twins were in Class A. Both of them had high social standings-and their test results were shining stars. We walked towards the cafeteria and bought lunch. The cheapest was still Chinese-styled Ramen-7500 yen. Oh, the consequences of forgetting to bring your bento to school. We talked about the latest updates on both manga and anime-filled with otaku conversations. We finished eating, and decided to head back to our classes.

I didn't know what happened that minute, but it went along the lines of :

"_Hey,Yagura!" the female twin waved towards the two boys ahead of us, "Mahoko and I are heading towards the washroom, so see you guys later, yeah?" Her twin laughed and gave a thumbs- up sign while the other gave me a "Hope you don't perish" look. Daisuke the Great Jerk frequently messed around a zero point five centimeter radius from me. Hitler would have blow him to kingdom come and take him back and blow him up again._

"_See ya, squirt." He smirked at me. Translation: Don't die in the bathroom, shorty._

"_A*****e." I retorted. The second bell rang-signaling third years to return to their classes while the second years could go to the cafeteria for and I shared a look, and briskly walked to the nearest washroom. _

_Ayu and I walked down the stairs and suddenly-oranges came tumbling down._

_Sensei, I kid you not. ORANGES._

"_Idiot-WATCH OUT SENPAI!"I tried to turn back, but the oranges were like _

_I remember that oranges fell down from the stairs, and the both of us were paralyzed. Frozen completely._

_I clutch to the railing and Ayu fell down the stairs, yelling profanities as she slid over an orange on the balls of her feet. _

_SCREW YOU ORANGES._

"_AYURA!" Yagura came out from the corner and looked at the orange filled staitcase, and glared hardly at the younger student. "What the hell did YOU DO?!" I cringed.__Never invoke an angry twin. Shit. I groaned pathetically. My foot's sprained. I clutched the railing and tried to stand up._

"_I'm going to get Ayu. Stay here for a while, 'kay?" Yagura patted me on the shoulder,shuffled pass me and getting his sister at the 2__nd__ Floor's base._

"…_..idiot." Daisuke's voice rang from the top of the stairs. He glanced at the wonderful staircase, " Don't move, Mahako."_

_Like hell I could move, I shot a look at him bitterly. He sighed. "Hey, you. Get your oranges up. The staircase's a mess."_

"_H-Hai, senpai!"_

_I got up by myself halfway, limping. The younger student then bended down on his knees and took the oranges one by one. Daisuke was at a far distance ,trying to get down without stepping on an orange and falling down the stairs._

"_Hey-Takashi!" A voice downstairs cheered, "Look! Oranges!"_

"…_..ah."_

Sensei. Actually I wrote this for a reason, you know.

"_Oh SHIT-MAHAKO!" Another student from who-knows-where appeared, and-_

_-stepped on an orange._

_The guy rammed at me full force, and I went over the railing._

_Two pairs of eyes looked at me, bewildered as I fell. The smaller bodied student leaped out f the way, and I crashed into the remaining one._

Lesson Number One: If you're falling to your death- close your mouth.

_My teeth hit something hard ,and immediately, the feeling and scent of blood crept its way out of my mouth. _

"_Oh my God."_

"_MAHAKO!"_

_I remembered that I was crying, and the guy beneath me had my drops of my blood on his collar. My friends on the staircase came down and the "Takashi" person's friend checked on him._

"_You're bleeding…..and your leg's-"_

"_MAHOKO!"_

_Takashi Morinozuka and Ayura Kaido went to Ouran's infirmary after that incident ,and I went to the nearest hospital to get my bones straightened._

_Best day of my life. _

Sensei,

Can I…you know. Change seats somewhere that isn't 10 centimetres near T.M?

Sorry for any inconvenience caused,

**Ishikawa Mahoko.**

*Rikipedia= Wikipedia lol.

…..I'm not really good at writing-but I'm GONNA IMPROVE!

Please tell me if they're any mistakes-be it PM or from a review, my English is at stake! .

You can also tell me if you have any ideas or expectations for this story. Thanks for reading this.

See you in a few days! – 76


	2. Chapter 2

The Failure of Falling

Chapter 2: After Four Years

Chapter Inspiration:….The fact that I miss my school life and the urge to write some crack? –wry grin-

**AN: Hello, I'm back-! There's not much to do during the year end holidays, so I'll keep writing. I found out that most of you are from European countries (never been there before T_T) and differences between our school curriculum are DIFFERENT. LIKE HELL.**

**Asian schools-we actually have a class for the whole year, like Takashi's 3A. He would have to sit in the class for the whole school period, only going out during breaks or when school ends after 6 hours. We also have extra classes or co-curriculum after school ends, for example: fencing, art, taekwando and in this fanfic, Host Club. School starts every January to the middle of November. And there's no homeroom in our don't have any lockers so we have to bring our books to school, -think of heavy school's like a second home to us. Without the beds, though. L.**

**There's also some Japanese exchange students coming to my school-I'll ask them about their school life. God bless my Japanese language.**

**Oh. OHHH. THANKS FOR THE FAVOURITES AND FOLLOWS. **

**Llady Llama, , kawaiimuffins,( Me want muffin now. =) ) , Ducky the Insomniac Panda (I. Seriously. Want .To. Know. Where . . Of. That. Name. J ) xxrxuxsutuyu, and Arisja 3701. And all ghosties from countries I…don't even know. Shit I still need to watch Hetalia.-flings away Geography textbook-**

**And a little reply to StarGuard 147: SORRY FOR YOUR WATER LOSS.( sounds wrong ) :) lol. Thanks for following and I'll do my very best ! **

**_ON TO DISCLAIMER!-pokes dazed Hunny who just woke up-_**

**_Hunny:…..(leave to your own imagination, folks.)_**

**_Me no own Ouran, you no sue. Me only own my OC's and Takashi Mori-_****slaps by layer cake and Usa-chan. **

"Shall we go to the Host Club today?!" my classmate squealed. The bell had just rang and half of the class had already disappeared. I stood and packed my bag slowly-my transport was going to come 4 hours later, and-_oh shit_, I checked my watch, and shove all my belongings into the brown case. _Amane's gonna kill me in 3 minutes_-

"Going so fast Ishikawa-san?" My ears abruptly coiled itself. Some laughter you've got there…bitches. I smiled, and spun around, facing the three oh-so proper ladies.

Oh…note the sarcasm.

"Yeah!" My mask was flawless. Just grin like Lee from Naruto and kick them from behind raagh. "You guys should leave quickly, too." I took my bookcase, 'Akira-san seems to be only waiting for the four of us to close the classroom."

At the right corner of the classroom, my class representative was silently fuming to himself. He glanced at me, and deadpanned. _Why didn't you say it sooner?_

"Oh~" The red-haired smirked, "I'm _so _sorry, Akira- kun~" My inner self was vomiting out instant ramen. I made a disgusted face.

"…..just hurry up, Ayanokouji-san."

"Oh well," CAN YOU GO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. "I wouldn't mingle with those ruffians if I were you, Ishikawa." Ayanokouji (oh god what a mouthful) sneered, "It's not good to your current social standing-if you have one, that is."

OH BITCH IT IS ON-" They are not street ruffians," Think of Batman, Superman, and any superhero that ends with –man.

"Ahhhh, defending them now, are we?" The two behind her laughed obnoxiously, "I'll actually give you credit for able to talk with them- ah look. My transport's here." She tousled her hair, giving me a "You lost so just shut up" look. "See you tomorrow, Akira-kun."The class represensative nodded rigidly. She turned to me. " Ishikawa-san."

"Ah. You too."

Then she left with the cronies right beside her.

That was one of the most irritating stereotypes you often see in Ouran Academy, elite, prestigious, and for the_ sick_ assholes, and definitely -rich. Most of them are sexist, expecting the male population to strive a new goal that would flourish their family name-while 90 % of the girls here are engaged to someone else in the school. Thank God for having sensible parents.

Ayaname-too-long represented the classist type. Sure, we're in Class A -good grades, good family, good relations. The other classes are more-how to say it…in the lower class-but not far behind as she had thought.

I was in that class before, you know.

"Oh man." A voice growled. " What a bitch." I grunted.

_YOU DON'T SAY, AKIRA_. I nodded to myself. _YOU DON'T SAY._

"Uh. Ishikawa-san. Aren't you late for Amane-san's ken-" I glanced a look at my watch, bowed at him, and ran.

_AMANE's SIRIUSLY KILLING ME._

_"_I'LL KILL YOU, LITTLE SQUIRT-!" I practically cried as I ran around the perimeters of the school's dojo outside when there's a Medusa incarnation right behind me, clutching a kendo stick. Sure enough I got to the dojo 5 minutes late (Hey, my class is the farthest away from it) and wasn't in the right attire-the school's yellow ….muffin dress. The thing. Ah-Lady Gaga would have chuck it in the fire- dress.

"I'M SORRY, OKAY?!" I yelled, passing through some of the juniors, who had the "what the fuck is going on?" look.

"_NO_ APOLOGIES YOUNG LADY!" _What?!_

"I'm THE SAME AGE AS YOU ARE, DUFUS!" Yeah. Classic.

"….YEAH YOU'RE RIGHT!" She snapped a finger, still running behind me _OH SHIT SHE'S GETTING CLOSER-and I haven't even written my wills. _I wailed_. Who's gonna get my Shingeki mangas?_

"STOP CHASING ME YOU IDIOT!" I screamed.

"…..oh." The footsteps slowed down behind me, and I stopped running.

Worst decision of my life # 43.

"OW-AMANE!" My ex- classmate gave out an evil aura,"…i-itai…"

"Serves you right." The brown-haired smirked evilly, her bangs shadowing her face. Someone came behind her, and gave her a noogie and being the best friend I am, I laughed.

"_DAISUKE_." The bloke grinned. " STOP IT-"

"No way in hell, man." He gave her an extreme noogie," No bullying my friends."

"YOU ARE BULLYING ONE."

"Ah…this is a form of my affection towards you." He knife-chopped her head.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

Ah, friends. Can't live without them.

After kendo class, Amane went back home_-"Don't come late next Friday ,squirt." "STOP CALLING ME THAT-" 'Oh shut up you two." _While Daisuke and I waited for our transport to come.

"So how's your day in Class A, squirt?" Daisuke ruffled my hair affectionately. After that…incident. Yeah. The both of us called it the "Orange Incident", he grew up to be a brotherly friend of mine (Less the cheekiness was still there.) , replacing Damian, who went to Florence, Italy to study Law.

"….there's still some classist assholes." He gave a sigh of understanding," But I'm still alive. So yeah."

"Yeah…."

Awkward silence.

"S-so." He broke the silence, "Yagura said their coming back on the 1st of April." Now that got my attention. The twins, who were our best friends in our 3rd Year of Middle School, had changed schools to Boston-(somewhere in America. I think.) –because their father's base of operations had turned to the European countries.

Oh shit.

"I haven't wrote a letter to them since two months ago." A mental image of a black haired came into my mind.

"Ah…..Ayura's gonna kill you." My eyes twitched. " Give her some of your otaku-things-"_Hey!"-_ then you'll live."

"I take serious offence to that."

"Good."

I bonked my bo onto his head.

"Mai Norada!"

"Here!"

"Mahako Ishikawa!"

"Present."

"Meiji Toshikawa!"

"Not present but still here!" The class joker called out. Sensei face palmed and grumbled something like: "I'm getting too old for this." while the others laughed.

"Miko Tanasha!"

"Here,sensei!"

"Mitsukuni Haninozuka!"

"Pre~sent!" I glanced at the shortest 3rd Year High School student that sat on the right corner, who made some of his fangirls (I amost called them pedophillacs one he's actually the same age as us,so…..) squeal and gushing around the whole class.

"Morinozuka Takashi!"

"…ah."

"Mori-kun's trademark ~" Someone in the front proclaimed loudly, "I'm blushing already, nyan~!" I laughed to myself. The 192 cm tall blokesitting beside me looked at me indifferently, like: This isn't funny at all. Har. Har.

Sensei finished the roll call, and started class soon after.

Then it was English period.

"Good Morning Miss Kurokawa!"The thin, blue eyed woman smiled brightly as she slid the door behind her.

"Morning, everyone!" All of us sat down, "Now about that first essay I gave you-I finished marking it yesterday, so-Akira-kun, if you may."

Everyone laughed. I gulped.

"Now-everyone did okay-BUT. Some people did it best!"

….no. Please no.

"…..Mahoko-san! " OH SHIT. " Will you change places with Morinozuka-san, now?"

"Huh?" _WHAT DO YOU MEAN SENSEI!?_

"…..ah?" The guy beside me muttered thoughtfully, tilting his head sideways.

_DON"T JUST SAY "AH?!" IN A NORMAL TONE ,MORINOZUKA_, I smacked my face on the desk. _YOU'RE UNBELIVABLE!_

**…crack much.**

**I'll update every two weeks (or if I just have the time. )**

**CIAAOOOOOO-watches Hetalia- oooooh, so this is Prussia!**


	3. Chapter 3

The Failure Of Falling

**AN:…..there are a lot of manga characters that haven't been getting attention. So there's a lot of names that you won't probably know that actually do exist in the canon-especially the Student Committee. Not going to write a lot for this section so…read and review! **** ! MUAHAHAHA.**

**Generally this fic will be categorized as crack, school life, slice of life. But there isn't any of these three so…I'll just write it down here.**

**Kitsune232, , StarGuard147, YaoiRPAlley, kawaiimuffins, **

**xxrxuxsxtxyx, Kaori Yume, Llady Llama ( Llama's are awesome **** ) , Ducky the Insomniac Panda, Arisja 3701.**

**THANK YOUUUUU I WILL EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE WITH-**

**Kyoya: …where did I come from? –looks around-**

**Me:….who wants to adopt this guy?**

**Kyoya: -Ootori Glare 100 %.-**

**Reply to Rusty's review: Odd. Mine's 9 in the morning. QAQ. I'M SORRY THAT I WROTE YOUR NAME WRONGLY (happens everytime in FF o_O ) in the second chapter. AND I KNOW that feeling when you can't laugh cuz it's night time. –insert trollface.- Thanks for reviewing!**

* * *

Chapter 3: I Fear For Your Sexuality

"You can't be serious about this, kaichou." I grumbled under my breath. I pulled an Ootori-styled glare at my President-and promptly scared both him and Kanan Mitsuyama, the Vice President who sat on the chair beside him, who was innocent and shuffling the out-box paperworks before getting glared at. "No offense to you guys, but my hands are starting to reach for the scissors at the side of the table. I will become Seijuro Akashi in a few seconds." Not a joke.

"That's already an offense Mahako-"

"NOT HELPING, KANAN." She took the scissors and placed it inside the drawer of the desk, and deadpanned . Toshiyori seemed to be going to have another of his stomach attacks sooner or later, so I relaxed. No more Ootori glare.

Sadface.

I know that sounds whole scene screams immature (it was) -but this was serious. Well, to me.

"Please, Mahoko." Toshiyori Matsudaira pleaded. Oh-ho? Student Council President pleading his Secretary to do dirty work- best thing that ever happened in my life! I scoffed, face-palming." Just go there and tell Suoh-san to give-"

"No way, Toshi." I stood up, getting my portion of paperwork to do. "I'm not going into that room." He whimpered as I used 70 % Ootori Glare on him. May you have nightmares at night. I snapped my head at Kanan. "Why not Kanan? She could help you on it."

Kanan, the soft, gentle, woman-etiquette model of the school, threw a "Are you SERIOUS?!" look at me. We're in the Student Council Committee's room, and only the three of us were inside. So do anything you like here muahahaha. Oh blokes who actually believed Kanan's the most gentle-y girl of the whole school, I mused darkly. Can't wait to see if she ever riled up on anyone of you.

"Uh…she can't." The brown haired returned to her documents, " She's engaged to Kuze-san-"I made a face. The Orange Guy( that's what I call him)-it was part of his fault that the oranges even start to exist on the Ouran staircases. His younger football-orange fanatic had dropped those oranges that he brought to school that day to commemorate the Ouran Orages ' newest winnings internationally and made two new injured people of the day.

Who call his team Ouran Orages? Ouran Orges sounds even more appealing than that.

Woohoo.

"-so we need you to help." Oh, you're still talking? "Just-please, Mahoko. No one's here anymore and we need to complete the data today-" My classmate rambled on.

"….Kanan seriously couldn't help?" The girl in the corner shooked her head. I sighed, giving in. Toshi was making this stupid face at me. Dammit._ I should have took a picture for blackmail in the future._

"We'll be waiting here until you come back~!" Toshi shouted. Kanan waved her handkerchief (Magically appeared out of nowhere) and muttered an "Adieu!" while rubbing off fake tears like an excerpt right out from Titanic.

By the time I actually walked out of the committee room, Toshiyori was dancing-and Kanan? She continued her fake tears while laughing. They should get Grammys- this line was fully loaded with sarcasm and bullets.

I'm going to punch the daylights the next time I see them. Toshi's in my class, Kanan's right beside of ours. Plot : Easy.

* * *

Let me tell you people. The fact that Ouran-the whole school ground, including all the Middle School, High School and University sections were as large as a city, made it hard to go from a place to another. Even going from the High School Third Year's Block to the other made itself FRIGGIN hard to reach there, fast. S_crew this I'm training for Sports Day_. I walked briskly to the other block through a small shortcut I discovered with Daisuke. Thank God.

The Committee Room was at the West portion of the High School's A Block. AND THE HOST CLUB WAS AT BLOCK C's EAST'S TOP FLOOR.

I'M BRISK WALKING FOR 20 MINUTES AND I'M STILL NOT THERE YET.

I took a break at the Grand Staircase-though it was only a few steps away. My legs…urgh. I stood up. I'll finish this once and for all. Even the dress was drenched with sweat at the back-not a good feeling. At. All.

"Ah….." Is it my imagination, or…? "Still being the Student Committee's lapdog, Ishikawa-san?"

Ain't mah life perfect? I smiled at that thought, I LIVEEEEEE IN PURFACTION.

" Not really, Ayanokouji." She tilted her head questionably ," Oh. I threw the honorifics, don't you think that's better? And your friends-no companions now? And besides, it's best to be doing work, than to walk and stalk Suoh- san. " Her gray eyes widened a fraction, and relaxed.

Not a good sign.

"Why do you assume that, Mahoko-san?" She spoke, eyes challenging. I actually laughed at that.

"Hah." I walked past her, pausing to give her a double-meaning smile, "I work with safety issues every day…..and I do believe that Ootori Kyoya is a top-notch in the area your answer is." I answered, lifting my head and looked at the red-head. _You do not want to cross me, Ayanokouji Yuki_. She got the message clear and steered away from the staircase.

"Know your place, Ishikawa Mahako." I smirked.

_You too._

I blew a wild strand of dark brown hair out of my sight, and walked up the stairs. (painfully) Hah….five more minutes to go, get Suoh to sign the papers and get the info to Ootori-(and I WILL BE FREE AT LAAAAAAST.

And I'll go home and watch the whole season of Free! Just for the hell of it. And forget about the whole Ayanokouji ordeal. Knowing her, she'll likely get back at me. Like Chucky. I winced, I still had nightmares about that.

"….huh…." A voice rang out from the back of the staircase. Wow. Who's still at school? I took a short peek at the blue blazered brunette boy who clutched at the window railings. "I thought there wouldn't be any bullying at this academy….."

Bullying? I thought, it's part of the system here. With Ayaname too long and co, you'll get a very distressed life through Ouran.

"…senpai?" Oh, he noticed me. I waved, clutching the documents in a hand.

And I looked at him, closely.

"Uh…" I muttered out. "Are you really a…." He looked…..feminine. More than me, to be exact. Let's see, let's see. _Adam's apple-nu-uh. Non-existent boobs…..eh._

"….senpai. I have to go now." He bowed and rushed past me, and I just stood there. Then I looked out the window.

"…..oh God." I'll take these to Host Club first. Then I'll help you quick.

I rapped at the door, and opened them. "Excuse me-"

"Oh-!" A short blond leaped at me, ( I resisted the urge to scream and squeal at the same time) " Hey Kawa-chan! Why are you here? The Host Club's finished but I still have some cake do you want it I can get it for you and can we share them please-"

WUT, Haninozuka-san, I'M KAWA-CHAN? AND LET's. I felt a hand patting my head.

"…..ah."

YOU AGAIN. I used 50 % Ootori glare on Morinozuka.

He actually closed his mouth.

MUAHAHAHA. FEAR ME. And the Ootori glare.

"…that glare actually rea-lly resembles Kyoya- senpai, don't you think, Hikaru?" Oh-the Host Club's twins…..how did they get behind my back?

"Sure does." The other twin eyed the documents on my hand, " Oh-Hunny-senpai's having a withdrawal period-"WUT." –so don't mention sweets in front of him."

"…teriyaki sushi." I muttered, looking at my shorter classmate.

"Ah."

OOTORI GLARE 70 %.

"Can I help you with anything, Ishikawa- senpai?" Ootori Kyoya-MY GOOD LAD YOU HAVE COME FORTH. (…..that sounds very disturbing.) I handed the documents and- "Uh. Where's Suoh-san?" I looked around the room. I see First-Year Twins, Sweet Withdrawal Hunny and "Ah." Morinozuka. No sign of the blonde though.

"Oh-he just went to the washroom minutes ago."

I had an emotional breakdown at that very moment.

"…..though I still can forge his signature and tell him the information…?" Kyoya seemed to realize the facial expression on my face that very moment screamed: "NOOOOO-!"

I LOVE YOU.

….the twins looked at me with theirs jaws hanging on their shoulders.

"Uh…" The younger (yet taller) Ootori blinked. "Not that way, Ootori-san." DAMN MOUTH. AND BRAIN.

"Looks like you have another fangirl here, Kyoya-senpai! " - Twins.

"YOU LIKE KYOYA-CHAN KAWA CHAN?"- Hunny.

"….ah?" 3 guesses who this was.

Two Ootori Glare, 200 %.

"….thanks, Ootori-san." I took the documents, disregarding the ice popsicles behind me.

"My pleasure, Ishikawa- senpai. Do come to the Host Club if you have a free time." He smiled. Ah…..the business smile.

" Sure."

"Hey hey hey." WHEN DID YOU PEOPLE MELT. "What's your name?"

"Yeah!" Another twin, (Kaoru I guess), followed.

"Mahoko Ishikawa, 3A, daughter of IPS Heads, not engaged, enjoys kendo and likes any type of anime, is currently having a housemen-ship with her parent's company and is probably succeeding the service-" Ootori continued."…..is that right, Ishikawa- senpai."

…

"..no."

The occupants in the room froze up. The 2nd year just looked at me, bewildered.

"Which part of it, senpai?" I pointed at the name written on his black book.

"My name's Ishikawa Mahako." Oh, deadpanned look from everyone! " The surname comes first in Japan."

….thus was the birth of the troll.

-After 2 minutes-

"Here. Sashimi." Oh Morinozuka actually talked – two words. I took a bite of it, and swallowed.

"Un." I took another one from the plate." Oishi, yo."

"…ah."

Ootori Glare 30 % with sashimi at the side.

"…..okay."

Much better.

...I feel that I have forgotten something.

...oh shit that feminine looking boy!

**Reviews are yummy? **


	4. Chapter 4

The Failure of Falling

**AN: Guuuuys?-bows and hits myself in the wall- T*_T Sorry for not updating for a long time. I got a job of teaching little kids the alphabets and updating was HAAARD because I was out in the kiddy wild without meh computer. –le sob-**

**I have REA-LLY decided that this fanfiction will be based on school-life (and crack) so the romance part will be in the FAAAAAR future. If you actually stick to this fic, I will salute you like Obama. THANK YOU.**

**ONWARDS WITH THE SALUTATIONS AND LURVE.**

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Chapter 4: Ootori Kyoya has a Death Note

"Um, Morinozuka-san." I poked the guy's back, who had reached the class just minutes ago with his cousin in the limo and literally slammed his forehead onto the table. Guess no one likes Trigonometric homework (except for Haninozuka-san. He finishes them off in 3 seconds/ question. And what was tan lines all about again? Getting a tan?) at all.

His cousin was currently sitting at the first seat near the door-screw height yet again, and Morinozuka was as quiet as Slender and doesn't even make a noise unless the teacher calls him up to answer a question. Having Umehito sitting right next to me doesn't really help it either, they were both quiet in class so I have to talk to the voices in my brain.

…..

…..just kidding.

I nearly cracked the guy's back in third year- but he's still my right seat partner so screw height and seat plans.

We actually do have a decent conversation time to time- just halfway through it we'll feel awkward (yes he does have feelings. Like most people do.) and unfortunately, the girl sitting beside him was, sadly- Ayayou-know-what's-her-name-already.

And since my dear troll-ling sensei of mine decided to make the two of us change seats, I'm currently seating beside her throughout the WHOLE day.

And I could feel her staaaaaaaaaaaaares.

Or it was just my imagination. I looked at her currently empty seat and to the redhead outside the class who had her back facing the glass. My eyes narrowed. _I'm not going to count on that, though._

"….ah?" He tilted his head, eyes half-closed and smoothed out his forehead. He has those "I just woke up so sue me that I look fabulous." hair and he looked like he was going to continue to sleep if I didn't poke him with his pen in the forehead…which I just did that."…..Ishikawa-san."

_Morinozuka Translation App: Why did you poke me… I was going to sleep, dammit._ The dammit part was exaggerating though. I sniggered mentally. Don't think he ever swore in 17 years of his life.

"Morning, Morinozuka-san." And your pen is awesome. Your forehead's all blu-ey and inky and stuff. "Can you change seats when we're having some group work during every class?" I smiled at the person sitting at the corner, who waved with Belzeenef while swishing his cloak like Snape on drugs. He actually gave me a cloak on my last birthday, and I used it for the monthly trips to his club. (His lucky charms actually do work -AND HIS CURSES WORK EXCEPTIONALY WELL, TOO. ) Morinozuka looked at Umehito (still flapping), a look of understanding on his face.

"….sure."

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU "Haha, thanks! See you!"

"No problem."

…..that was actually the longest conversation we ever had.

I'm going to put it in the Ouran Book of Records after school in the Student Committee Room.

…..yes we actually have that Record Book in the room. No joke.

"Alright class!" Tomoshi-sensei yelled. Morinozuka silently groaned and rubbed his blue Avatar forehead-_nicely_ done too, I might add. The others standing outside the class started coming in and sitting at their seats, yawning. The red-haired beside me looked at the front direction, bored. "As all of you know, this is your last year."

No shit Sherlock, sensei.

"Zennosuke-sensei has approved of the foreign exchange with one of the finest schools in China-" Delighted sounds ran through the whole classroom. Zennosuke-sensei was actually the Vice Principal-but he's always not in the school and doing some other work he has to with other foreign countries. And boy was the old man strict, so the foreign exchange getting approved was shit-tastic!

….SUPPORT MY MENTAL VOCABULARY!

We quieted down as Tomoshi-sensei shushed us and continued, "The Foreign Exchange is going to be held in the end of October." Another eight months? That's fast. Chinese's probably an easy language…._like hell it is_. I need to learn now or I might just die in China because of my lack of understanding in the language . "The forms will be given out- Akira!"

The Class Represensative just groaned when Tomoshi -sensei gave him a quick and hard noogie and gave out all the forms. The old man followed us through three years of hellish studies in Ouran, basically he's like a grandfather to us. He's 68 years old already!

_I, _, parent of _, Class 3A, give my full confidence and support that he/she could attend the Chinese Exchange Program that will be held on the 30th of October, 2013,and will not blame the school that if the chance of the loss of any belongings, any health issues or any harm that will be inflicted to my child during the whole program._ Example: Loss of a limb. This was written additionally by yours truly.

"Do you decide to go, Ishikawa-san?" My front-seat neighbor (and the aforementioned in the second chapter class joker) asked, eyes filled with excitement. The guy was part Chinese and part Japanese, if I still remembered. His mother was a very tall Chinese woman while his father was Japanese when they both came to the Ouran Battle last year, I looked at him thoughtfully (he was smiling like Italy now.) Does he even know how to speak the language? _There were a lot of dialects in China…..oh shit._

"….kinda." I replied to his question. A pause. "Hey, Meiji." He snapped out of his dreamland and tilted his head sideways at me.

…I think he's some sort of transsexual guy. NO OFFENSE. HE LOOKS LIKE ITALY FROM HETALIA.

"Yeah?"

"…do you know how to speak in Chinese?" He opened his mouth in an "O" shape, before closing it." Or do you call it Cantonese or something else?" Because it's damn confusing to differentiate the words.

"….你不会吗。。。" Guess I have the answer. "我可以教你哦！" I don't know what you're talking about! He laughed and gave me a thumbs-up. "一侓免费！"

"…what da fuck was that?" I asked, the vein near my eyebrows twitching. He blinked, realizing I don't even understand a single word of it. I was very tired about the lady-like etiquette Ouran girls have to perform. But the guys in my class don't really mind if I actually sprouted un-womanly words at them (they themselves do that sometimes.) So I really like the guys in 3A- Class 3B guys were all polite and had a strict no-profanities conversation. God bless Kanan for having a great vocabulary.

"…..I can teach you for free." I "ohhhhh" ed. Meiji clapped my back, giving me a toothy grin. "What do you say, Ishikawa? First free period tomorrow?"

"Okay then." Meiji smiled (doesn't he get tired of it? Yamamoto Takeshi in real life, le gasp!) and left the room for his club activities. I sighed, slumping down to my chair. Japan really concentrates on club activities. Hardcore training and hardcore competition in studies really stress us students out. I stood up, ready to go for Amane and Daisuke's class at the top of the floor for recess. _I feel like I'm forgetting something though…._

"Mori-kun! Is the Host Club cosplaying Avatar today?!"

"Nice forehead, Morinozuka!"

_Oooooooooh- that._ I bolted out of the class.

* * *

A scream erupted from the next class.

"Kanan-san!" the Student Committee Vice President was now soaked in every corner. Her dress, hair and class shoes were all induced with Kuze Orange Juice- Freshly Squeezed and Additional Pulp! and..

"…..did Kuze-san prank you or something?" A classmate asked, handing her a towel.

Kanan tried hard not to swear. She wanted to direct her current feelings to an immensely powerful word.

"….fudgeeeeeeeee."

All hail The Vocabulary God.

* * *

"Mahoko!' A shrill voice screamed out. Amane was now pulling a constipated-looking Daisuke, who was holding his bento in his free hand behind her. No free will when you eat with Amane! I smirked at the duo, "WE"RE HERE!"

"HOLY SHIT I KNOW, YOU DON'T NEED TO SCREAM,JACKASS." Because she was one.

"BITCH!"

"I'M YOUR LOVABLE BITCH~" Two guys from Class 3C sighed and patted me good-naturedly on the shoulders when they passed by me. Amane and I always had a scream-a-thon before recess. And because of those loving antics of hers, she was quite popular at the Third Year's Block- which towed me and Daisuke along into it.

"Can you two cut it out already…" Daisuke facepalmed and smoothed out his blazer, his black eyes rolling in annoyance. I laughed while Amane had walked to the nearest cafeteria. Hell, we need to get seats before the fan girls does- The Host Club attracts lots of people to their crowd. And it gets super noisy- and I didn't really like crowds but Amane wants to eat there so-…argh, whatever.

"Let's go." Daisuke flicked my forehead. I stepped his foot and smiled at him.

"Yeah, mama."

"…..I have a Y chromosome, idiot." I raised an eyebrow at the brown-haired guy.

"You know I suck in Biology, dipshit." He smirked and ruffled my hair.

"…that's why I said that, bitch." He gave me a challenging smile, making me narrow my eyes-

"YO, BITCH AND DAWG YOU'RE WALKING SO SLOW MY PET SNAIL'S FASTER THAN YOU!"

"SHADDUP, AMANE!" the two of us yelled, pointing at her with anime-styled sync. She gave us a face (mature, really.) and disappeared around the corner. "YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A PET SNAIL."

"….so, cafeteria?" He bowed and gave a butler-like pose.

"Cafeteria." I confirmed. We stalked to the cafeteria after going up the staircase and-

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" _May God bless us. And the Jews._ "URESHI~!" Tamaki Suoh was kneeling at the centre of the cafeteria with a second-year girl, who was blushing madly while her friends were fanning themselves with their hands. For some stranger reason, Ayanokouji was sitting beside Tamaki-san's usual spot, while the other Host Club members were around the table, eating. It was an awkward sight if you asked me. There were many girls surrounding the Host Club's table-and boy that meant they were helluvah rich.

Going to the Host Cub for like- 3 hours tops? to request for one of them almost costs me 4 Ouran ramen bowls-and I didn't really like using my allowances like that, so I never visit them at the music room.

…I need to fulfill my inner otaku desires once in a while!

Amane even requests for one of them-didn't know which one, but still. I won't deny that the group was charming-AMANE was in it for God's sake. That meant a lot.

"Oh," a voice mumbled, and knocked me into Daisuke. He managed to grab my collar and settle me back onto safe ground. "Good day, Ishikawa-senpai, Kurosawa-senpai."

"Oh-Ootori." Daisuke mumbled, cradling his back, " Hey."

"I will be here no matter how long it takes- to cherish your smile that brings the light to the world-" Tamaki's voice erupted from the back of the cafeteria. No wonder Kurokawa-sensei (My English Teacher) loved that kid. He shall be crowned Shakespeare the Second in a matter of time someday….

Kyoya blinked and popped up a business smile immediately.

"Do excuse me for this time, senpai." His glasses glinted, "I need to go meet them."

…..I exchanged glances with the guy beside me. And shrugged.

"See you soon, Ootori!" Daisuke waved, pushing e towards Amane's direction.

The second year smirked.

"Alright then."

I don't know what I am _exactly _doing here.

"Hani-san, can you help me on this question?" I stared at Amane's Geometry book and to Hunny's serious thinking face. Beside me sat Morinozuka and on the other side of me sat Mori fangirl # 1, and all of us were looking at the Geometry Wiz who looked at Amane's homework with deep concentration.

"You can do it, Hani-kun!" The girls cheered.

"Uuuuuuuh-"

I looked at the giant beside me. His onyx eyes were looking straight to the small blonde in front of me with a tender, brotherly look. It kinda made me smile a little-their bond was very deep for cousins and was-how do you say it?-making me all fuzzy-feeling in the heart. And the fact that they were just cousins scare me. You could never see the without the other on the other's head or shoulders anywhere in the school compound. Even Hani waits for Morinozuka when he's teaching the juniors some new kendo techniques.

By taking an afternoon nap on a bench nearby.

…but that's not the main point, really.

"Aha!" Hani cheered, taking Amane's mechanical pencil and pointing out a few pointers here and there. "Let me help you there, Ama-chan!" The whole group that I was sitting with were then looking at the furious scribbling on Amane's book. After all-Hani got the _first_ place in the whole year-not that shocking, really. The 'tradition' was going for…..three years at most?

"Thanks, Hani-kun!"

"As smart as always, Hani-kun!" A girl complimented happily, making my classmate smile this "ULTRAVIOLET" smile at her.

And_ boy _was it **radioactive.**

…..SUPPORT IMAGINE DRAGONS!

"Ne, Kawa-chan!" I felt the rate of exposure to plutonium was now 60%. The younger aged girls were looking at me expectedly, Amane was having serious mental problems-even Morinozuka was looking at me. I don't like being the center of attention- already did the MBTI Test and I got INFP-and damn everything that says about that personality type matches me perfectly. Actually, you know what? Let's get to the point once again.

What, for fuck's sake, am I exactly doing here?

" _MAHOOOOOKKOOOOO-!" I spun around, knocking into something hard. Amane had tears falling out of the corners of her eyes. "I NEED HELP-"_

"_-have you been raped?" I asked her seriously. I have the best messed-up mind in the world. "Who did it?" I cracked my knuckles. "Do you want me to kill-?"_

_Then she mega-bitch-slapped me. _

"_Ow what the-"_

" _I NEED YOU TO ACCOMPANY E TO THE HOST CLUB." _

"_OH HELL NO."_

"_! #$%^&*!" '_

That's right. I glared at Amane- SHE BLACKMAILED ME. Even Ayanokouji (was designating the new kid-the one that made me curious-about-his-sexuality guy. Feel sorry for him.) couldn't make me this angry. Hani was looking at me with a large, BIG smile.

"This is your first time coming to the Host Club, right Kawa-chan?" Hani asked cutely, adorableness literally oozing out to the atmosphere. The girls sitting beside him swooned.

"Yeah," I replied, and a finger tapped my shoulder. Morinozuka was handing me a plate-with Belgian Chocolate Cake on it. For god's sake, this cake will be the equal amount to the price I came here for. I took the plate, thanked him, and ate a small nibble.

…..

…..holy_ crap_ this cake is _awesome_~ I thought, taking another bite and basking magically in sweetness.

"Kawa-chan, you really like cake, huh?" I practically nodded with a smile while rocking left and right to Hani's question, making the crowd around us laugh. (my bitch-friend was therefore forgiven)

One of the younger girls then made conversation and Hani started to take another similar plate out of nowhere while talking.

"_Time to chow down!" _The fangirls squealed."_ Bon appetite!"_

"_Don't eat too much cake Mitsukuni," _Morinozuka took out his manly-handkerchief and wiped the small blonde's mouth, and made his three fangirls nosebleed right beside me while I'm eating cake…..ew. I took another scoop into my mouth, watching the scene unfold in front of me.

"…..gay."

The fangirls, Hani and Morinozuka froze. I slapped my mouth._ Did I….said that out loud? _I looked at them_- _My two male classmates spun and stared at me with_ O-O_ faces, Amane was clawing her face downwards while I juggled with my plate of cake. _Oh shit_, I braced myself, _it's gonna fall-!_

_CRASH_

I opened my eyes.

"_AAAAAAHH!" _someone screamed. But Morinozuka had caught the plate at the base of his palm-_ where did that sound came from? _We exchanged glances, and looked at the direction of the scream. I jumped when something wet was soaking at the end of my skirt-subsequently hitting Morinozuka in the face.

….

…I'm so sorry. He pinched his nose and winced.

"Haruhi-k-kun…." Ayanokouji? She was on the floor-while the new guy was leaning near her. I unintentionally inched towards them-until someone grabbed my wrist.

_Let it be_. The hold on my wrist loosened, and both of us looked back to the pair.

" H-Haruhi-kun suddenly got violent!" The red-haired looked hysterical. The girl sitting beside me had the look of doubt on her face-mostly terrified. Who wouldn't be when someone breaks a vase behind you and screams?

I quickly deciphered. The "Haruhi" kid was innocent-after all, it was Ayanokouji.

Haruhi "ehh-ed?"

"S-Someone help me quickly!" She continued yelling, and the pair of twins rushed forward. My foot stepped forward immediately, Haruhi's innocent- "_Get this commoner off me-!"_

Water was splashed onto Ayanokouji from above.

The room .Was. Perfectly. Silent.

"E-Eh?" I gaped at the twins. "W-What are you doing?" Tamaki-san then stalked to her side and pulled her up. Morinozuka stood up, ruffled my hair and walked past me along with his shorter cousin.

….what's going on?

"Tamaki-sama," He swept a portion of hair that was in the middle of her face, "Haruhi-kun wanted to-"

"How graceless." Her eyes widened. "You were the one who threw Haruhi's bag in the pond."

"How could you-" She gulped. "Do you have any proof?"

Tamaki tilted her jaw up and looked her in the eye.

"You're quite beautiful," She was stunned, "But you are not fit to be our customer." The room had tension now-" And I know." He said seriously.

"Haruhi is not that kind of guy."

…wow.

I have a new respect for Tamaki Suoh now.

Salutations.

"…"

"Tamaki-sama…" She pushed the aforementioned guy's hand away, "Y-You idiot!"

Then she ran out of the room.

…..

"For you," Tamaki coughed, loosening the tension in the room and at the same time looking at Haruhi who was still on the drenched floor, "I shall inform you of the punishment for causing such a ruckus-and making me lose such a precious customer."

Haruhi gaped at him when he pointed a finger (Not that.) at her.

"Now you have to get a _thousand _customers!"

He looked crestfallen and almost to tears.

May God bless us all and Haruhi Fujioka.

"A-A…..thousand?"

Oh hell she was going to cry.

…she? I gaped once more. My intuition works every time-this shouldn't be an exception. I looked at the first year on the floor…she makes a good cross dresser though. I smiled. And if she had long hair-definitely a girl.

"Here." Tamaki pulled up Haruhi with his hand, and grinned. "I look forward to see your progress, natural rookie!"

Haruhi looked like she was going to faint any moment.

Kyoya then handed her (…I was sure of it now.) a replacement uniform and told her to change, and bowed to the girls who were still in the room.

"I'm terribly sorry for the unwanted drama here," Some of the girls sighed, "but the Host Club will still be opening tomorrow and we hope that this-"He motioned his hands to the vase's remains. " –doesn't change your opinion on us."

Kyoya bowed once again.

"We hope you come again tomorrow!" All of the members of the Host Club bowed together.

Amane then ushered me out along with the other girls, who were heading to the main gate to wait for their limo's.

"…..see you tomorrow at the dojo?"

"Yeah." She patted me on the back and went to the opposite direction, and I was left alone in the hallway.

I wonder how Ayanokouji's feeling right now. I looked out of the window and leaned onto the wall. Too much drama for one day-I was tired.

And I didn't get to finish my cake.

Le sob.

….and my files were still in the Host Club's Room.

I knocked at the door and didn't get any response. And me being myself, I went in.

The Host Club then spun around together in sync-with alarmed faces. I opened my mouth and was about to point at the files on the table that I just sat, and right behind them, was Haruhi Fujioka wearing an Ouran High School section dress.

…so I slammed the door and bolted right away down the Grand Staircase.

OH SHIT OHSHIT OHSHIIIIT

"-get her!"

I started to run faster-and was caught.

Daaaaaamn Morinozuka's long legs. He stared at me and started to pull me back to the room while my legs felt heavy step by step.

"….nice to see you again, Ishikawa-senpai." I yelped and hid behind my classmate as the Shadow King made an unexpected appearance beside the door.

"….Hajimemashite, Ishikawa-senpai." Haruhi bowed, still in her female uniform. I waved at her, still speechless. "Guys, I trust senpai wouldn't tell anyone about me being a girl or anything-"

"**Oh it's you again."** The twins chorused. "**That Student Committee member that day.**"

FML FML FML

"…I'm going to get those files and go quietly alright?" I had cold sweat now.

"No way." The twins chorused, taking out scissors from their pockets. I widened my eyes.

"My princess," Tamaki appeared beside me, taking my hand and almost kissing it. I had that hand turn into a fist, "I trust you won't leak out any information about the truth about Haruhi's gender?" He pressed his lips onto my hand's surface.

And I kinda boxed him.

In the cheek.

Lovely. Splendid.

"TONO!"

"She punched me, mother!"

"It's a natural reaction-"

"Don't mind them Ishikawa-senpai-"

"Aaaaaaah."

A hand gripped mine.

"You won't tell anybody about this, right? Kawa-chan?"

…my mind's feeling dizzy.

And I blacked-out.

…dramatic much.

* * *

This pretty much sums up the first episode ( I think. ) So yeah see ya!

-reads Shingek ino Kyojin's newest chapter- Wut da fuq Erwin has a new moustache. Like Brad Pitt. –laughs insanely-


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